Fast and Furious

The best part of the newest movie in the car-racing-action genre is the scene where Michelle Rodriguez's character dies.

Cause I really don't like Michelle Rodriquez. "Oh look at me, I'm a tought latino chick! I'm gonna mess you up in every movie or tv show I've ever been in!"

This movie is charged with:

Being more of the same, with a predictable twist... the bad guy boss is actually the bad guy henchman! Equilibrium did it way better.

Other cinema where Michelle Rodriguez dies:

Resident Evil

Lost Season 2

In Halo 2 she voices a few NPC marines, which die often.

She probably dies in Bloodrayne and the Breed, which I don't recommend you watch.

Maybe she'll die in Avatar! That would be wonderful!

The Great Buck Howard

This movie is about doing what you love. If you ever need a push in the “get the hell out of that office job and do something you love” kick in the ass, Hollywood has got you covered. This movie ranks high amongst those other "follow your dreams" movies. The story starts with a young man dropping out of college, because he hates it, and following his dream to become a writer. Turns out writing is not gonna pay the bills and he needs to find a job. Enter Buck Howard, Once staple on the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson, who has posted an ad in the paper looking for a road manager. The two embark on a tour across the united states performing to the few fans who are still interested in the kind of performance Buck offers. A love story is thrown in and there are all kinda quirky things that happen along the way. It all builds up once buck is admitted to the hospital after reading a horrible article about him self, turns out any press is good press and he is back on top. The story continues to a happy ending of sorts that sums up the idea that good times or bad life has a way of working out when your off doing what you love.

Ratting

4/5 new channels providing more coverage of your death then ever of you life but hey any press is good press right

Charged with:

Making a relevant fun movie about not really being relevant anymore

Father and sons playing fathers and sons in moves oh how clever of the hanks family

Wishing you had stayed in law school when unlike buck you don't have a small town America following to fall back on because your a writer. Remember there no writer D list, just unemployed

Robot Chicken Star Wars Episode 2

As you've no doubt noticed our updates are sporadic and follow no set schedule. This is because we are real people with lives. Sometimes we only have a small window to watch a movie and write the review, so posting at earliest convenience, instead of "Every week at this time" makes much more sense for us. Keep an eye on our twitters to know when something is changing, or check back Sunday and Tuesday evenings. If we haven't posted reviews by then for a movie you were looking forward to, we either thought "I'd rather castrate myself than watch that" or we had family emergencies. Here's a note from my doctor:

Robot Chicken Star Wars Special Episode 2

Overall, this suspect is pretty good. I love Star Wars, and Robot Chicken can usually get a good laugh out of me. But, if you’re a fan of the series, and watch the show, you’ve probably already seen 90% of the sketches on the DVD. The rest you’ll be able to easily find on YouTube.

Let’s be honest, you won’t listen to the director’s commentary. The bonus features, like the making of, are okay, but you can pretty much imagine what the process is anyways, and there aren’t any real deleted scenes to check out.

Charged with: being a waste of plastic. Just put the special on TV or release online. Stop grubbing our money Seth Green! You have enough action figures; EBay could support you and your future offspring for decades.

Che - Part I

This biopic is about that dude who everybody had on their tshirt in 2004.

And I just earned a new sort of respect for the man. Ernesto "Che" Guevara was known as a revolutionary, a doctor, a soldier, and a murderer. To some he was a hero and to others he was a monster. Steven Soderbergh and Benicio Del Toro bring this ambiguity to life with a Che shrouded in mystery, of few words making powerful statements. In one scene Del Toro convinces us to take Che's side in the revolution, and in the next, you wonder if his intentions weren't for Cuba's best.

It's a remarkable and meandering study of a real life figure of the revolution, which one might argue justifies the incredible length of the movie. Part 1 itself runs about 135 minutes, much of it taking the form of an interview with Lisa Howard, where we don't even hear Che's voice, instead an interpreter speaks for him in english. The action is interspersed. As much as the revolution was bloody, violent and explosive, this is not an action movie.

I will actually guarantee that a majority of you would find this movie boring, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't give it a try. What you stand to learn from this film (and the sequel, due out in a couple of months) will greatly outweigh a similarly timed trist with say... a transforming robot sequel.

For instance, did you know Che had asthma? Or Benicio Del Toro's moustache has a part in the middle right between the nose (like mine)? Speaking of moustaches, this movie will be my personal nomination for my upcoming "Moustache Awards." If you know a movie sporting some rad moustaches, drop me a line via our email moviepolicereviews@gmail.com, or twitter me (officertango).

Right, yes. Watch Che, watch the sequel when it comes out, and never, ever, ever listen to a word Sean Penn has to say, he is overly obsessed with coming up with a famous quote.

Also, at the bottom of my page of notes, someone has scribbled inappropriate things about a girl I know, but it wasn't me.

Che is charged with:

Being really fucking long.

Che is commedated with:

18 out of a possible 21 gun salute.

Beach Kings

Does everyone here remember Ski Patrol and Top Gun? Now what happens when you combine the plot of ski patrol and the Gay (not in a bad way) volleyball scene from Top Gun? A Gay (not in a bad way) movie about showing up those guys in the nice shiny sponsored uniforms with a “gets the girl” love story thrown in to try and make it seem less gay. (not in a bad way) Now that sounds like a bad review but it's not this movie is so bad its good, no one can act, the jokes are not funny and really beach volleyball can you pick any gayer (not in a bad way) sport to make a movie about. Another shinning point is that Erkel from TV's Family Matters is in this movie. (keep in mind not as erkel, unlike pee wee in back to the beach, now that was an awesome movie) If you're looking for a good comedy you will sadly disappointed, however if you're looking to laugh at a movie that has all the acting chops, scenes, and abs of a gay porn then this movie is for you (get your hand lotion ready boys)

Haunting in Connecticut

Another so called true story about paranormal brought to the big screen, well once on the big screen now on you smaller screen at home. I wanted to like this movie i really did, i wanted a dark twisted past that some junior detective kids find out about that all wraps up nicely in a epic good vs evil battle. (maybe even evil would win if i was lucky) What i got was plotted elements thrown in for the sake of being thrown in (recovering drunk as a dad that had nothing to do with the plot), The main character has cancer so he is already dead (how can you be scared for someone who is already dead? You Can't!!) and to top it off not one scary scene (ghosts in the mirrors are not scary, not the first time not the 1000^th time neither are slamming doors or flying birds). The only good part of the whole movie was the sepia style used when telling the back story, now if only the back story was any good. If you're looking to jump out of your seat in terror or just to be creeped out, pass on this one.

Ammendment

For some reason I forgot to mention that in Push there's a scene where Dakota Fanning gets loaded and yells at people. This was hilarious, but way too short. Fingers crossed it shows up on youtube.